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The Great List [...exposed...]
Hi, I’m the Problem, It’s Me
It’s been a flaky girl summer for me on the writing front.
If you’re on the instas, you know:
I haven’t been around since almost the middle of July, and maybe also the end of May now that I think about it.
80% of my weddings for the year fell into our summer months so it’s been a head-down, get-sh-**-done summer for me. And of course, a gal has to embrace the summer of it all so there have been beach weeks and evenings at the pool and even a jaunt to Hawaii for my brother’s wedding. It’s been a good summer. And it also feels nice to pick up my metaphorical pen and be back with my newsletter friends. Hey boos, I missed you.
Here’s a summer run-down with no explanation: haunted house, no lyme, lime dress, weather watching, what the smoke, Virginia Ambrose, Millie Ambrose too, and another Millie, Barbie, pimple patches, Beach Plum la Croix, big sky, outlaws, hot hot hot, fish hut, Hawaiian Bill, Island Seth, and Whiteclaw Dave, ginger ale, hand check please, and a checked bag too.
Now that we got that out of the way, let’s look forward to the great wish list.
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The Great List [...exposed...]
Can I confess something to you? When I started experiencing success in my early twenties and was making a lot for the first time in my life, I did not have restraint, support, or knowledge when it came to my finances. While I never went into debt, I also was so-so at best at managing my money and thinking about long-term financial stability.
There’s a lot of money trauma from my childhood we could go into, but honestly, I’m still learning it myself.
When the pandemic hit, I was a smidge addicted to the dopamine rush of shopping and simultaneously wildly stressed about everything crumbling financially. I was constantly stressed that I would find myself back in a spot I had worked so hard in my adulthood to escape. So I swung to the other side of the spending spectrum with a 6-month shopping freeze and reworked all of my financials so I’m accountable to multiple people. And the funny thing is, I enjoy shopping so much more now. It’s a treat. It’s intentional. And if anything, I now have to remind myself that it is okay to spend money on myself. The thrill of walking away from something is about as much a rush as walking away with something.
That’s where ‘The List’ comes in. It’s a wishlist that I keep in my notes app on my phone. It’s mostly clothes & accessories but every once in a while a piece of tech wiggles its way on there too. I have one for myself, Seth, and our home. And if something isn’t on the wishlist, I don’t buy it (most of the time at least - there are always exceptions).
Originally, “The List” helped me break the habit of impulsive buys. Now it helps me evaluate if something is a good investment and feel comfortable pulling the trigger on a piece. If it’s been on the list and stayed on the list (I frequently edit out things) I know it’s something I’ve considered and would really enjoy. And it’s thrilling when I find something - like last week’s navy wool mini skirt which had been on the list for two years.
Sometimes the list is specific and sometimes it’s the idea (i.e. short but not too short mini skirt that is a heavy material but not cheap looking, navy probably but maybe a dark brown, interesting element, bonus points for a good hemline).
What else is on the list? Let me spill the beans:
Le Bon Shoppe Baloon Sweatpants (In navy, I think)
Plaid track boxer shorts (perfect for a Carolina fall, which is really summer with chilly mornings. I’m imagining these with a white tank or tee under a boxy black cashmere sweater and a pair of silver ballet flats).
Pistola Grover Field Suit (in the perfect blue, or perhaps olive).
Black High Top Converse (my white ones from 8 years ago get worn all the time & I know these would too).
La Ligne Daisy Dress in Olive (it’s been sold out for well over a year so I check resell sites every once in a while to see if it’s popped up. I just missed out of this one of Poshmark and am kicking myself).
Short wrap dress, heavier material that doesn’t wrinkle, cobalt blue, red, or kelly green. (I haven’t found ‘the one’ yet)
Jeans (I love to wear jeans. I hate finding jeans I love to wear. And I’m curious about these.)
Fun, happy, statement shirts in my signature colors (cobalt blue, red, or kelly green). A massive, glaring hole in my wardrobe is shirts that make me happy. I have the basics (a good white tee, oversized oxfords in white, blue, and striped, black tee, white blouse, and a couple of sweaters) but I don’t have memorable shirts that make me happy. I’ve been on the lookout for these for a year or two now, and I think I’ll know when I find something. It’s like a year+ long easter egg hunt but you have no idea what eggs look like.
This bag in chocolate (it’s been two years since nearly all of my bags were stolen and it’s time to start slowly rebuilding. I think this is a wonderful place to start.)
Tall boots. (I’ve been looking for 3 years and in that time I’ve learned I’m very, very picky about boots. Every pair gets compared to these boots, and I’ve talked myself in and out of them (and some dupes) so many times. I also tried these on in-store last week and they were very special.)
Structured black purse (think Hermès Kelly-like, but one that I’d wear any old place)
A delicate pinky signet ring (like this one).
And now that I feel properly exposed, we’ll wrap up The Great List [exposed] for the time being.
Reader questions are making a return next week,
so if you have something you’ve been wondering about or something you’ve been searching for, send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org. It helps to be specific (i.e. include details about your style, budget, etc.)!
Watching: Yes, I’m late to the game on this well-loved series. But this show is up there with Season 2 of The Bear for favorite TV shows this year.
Baking: Dipping my toe into fall bakes, but really I’d eat this all year round with any fruit in season.
(Not) Reading: This book has been mentioned among my circles nearly as much as Fourth Wing (But for very different reasons). And I’ll be honest, I just quit it last night. It’s so sad and I’ve been dreading picking it up. So I’m setting it to the side and picking up this instead. Life is too short and our TBR lists are too long to finish the book we don’t like.
Listening: heartbreaking, infuriating, and very good. My book vs. audiobook taste could not be more different and I’m devouring this memoir.
Inspired by: this house tour.
Adelyn Boling is a reader-supported publication, and I couldn’t do it without you. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.